M- is gonna be in SF again and wants me to come to his show.
I haven’t told R- because last time the two got a little confrontational.
Blah I txted him for way too long last night.
My life right now.
I can’t help but be excited M- is interested in me. Can’t actually turn him down because of the sheer curiosity and energy of it. But is that emotional cheating?
On New Year’s Eve, I was in Paris and R- was roadtripping with his friends. While I was champagne toasting with my family, he was raving.
He was on e and adderall. If you don’t really know what that means, it is that his serotonin was up so he was super affectionate (e) and he was fixed on the moment (adderall). Everyone else was obsessed with dancing or circling the venue or his friend P- sent me a bunch of snapchats.
I guess R- was having visions of me. When I talked to him after the event he hinted at what happened but wouldn’t tell me outright.
I tried to be patient and finally a few days ago he told me.
The first flash was just me smiling up at him. Then we kissed and he had his first rise. Like a million butterflies from a long awaited embrace.
He was feeling good and having a good night and then I guess it climaxed.
With me holding our baby.
He was so afraid of how I would react. Or what this meant. I was so excited on the inside but I tried to keep a poker face. I just kissed him and said ‘I’m glad you could finally tell me.’
If it helps we were having a serious conversation earlier about love and I asked if boys romanticize it as much as women do.
Sadly, I haven’t really thought about my children with R-. It was more of my half-cuban babies with N-. I couldn’t help it. They’d have green or hazel eyes with perfect tan skin and chestnut hair. A perfect blend of the two of us.
R- and I will have the whitest babies. Red,auburn,blonde hair and green,hazel eyes with fair skin. Still cute, but not such a romantic blend of the two of us.
To be honest, I’ve been sober and thought about how good of a father R- will be. I’ve seen him hold little kittens and a sleepy ferret with so much care. The way he held them in his arms was so precious. It could make any girl swoon.
In the meantime, it’s the beginning of our last semester together. He’ll be off to med school soon.
I still have another year.
He’s been doing spring rush, so I can’t be around as much I used to. & he’s sharing a room with his best friend, K-. I love K- but I also miss the privacy of R-’s old single.
Who knows. I’m taking comfort in the fact that I’m so loved. I’m giving him space because it’s so easy to trust R-.
We’re making dinner tonight and I want to make something good. I’m a vegetarian so I kinda go the unhealthy route to please le boyfran. But I also kinda want to detox him from all the drinking.
What do you think about all this?
Finally saw one of my favorite books portrayed on screen!
At this point in my life, it’s a favorite.
While other girls were obsessing over Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, I found true love in Anna Karenina.
The novel delves into so many key topics, a few are:
Probably more. I never studied it in class, but that’s what I got from independent reading a few years ago.
I’m convinced it helped form who I am today.
The movie itself was a faberge egg of Russian spectacle and royalty. #ladyeyeporn
They even threw in some laughs.
I’m still enjoying the afterglow.
Have you seen it?