Woke up at 5am.
Made coffee & scones.
Just killing time in the morning. I want to write but not really sure what about. I made a great new morning playlist. My dad was up too. He’s reading in the other room & seems to like my music too. It’s sweet. I hardly agree with him anymore, so the comfortable silence is nice.
I might as well go over my resolutions for the year.
- As always-get more organized with my time: studying, working out, boyfriend, friends
- I want to do acid or 25I with R-. I’m so curious and want to see that side of him. I’m a chill person so I don’t think I’ll have a bad trip. Pot doesn’t make me paranoid, cross faded is nothing new.
- Getting more organized. My family is messy, I’m trying to break my nurture and get OCD clean. I secretly love it. I just need to learn how to work with it outside of lab
- I haven’t gotten new followers in a while. I don’t know what I should do differently with Le Blog, but I want it to be better for everyone
- I am so in love with R-. It hasn’t been work keeping our relationship going but I am just as dedicated as day 1.
- Be more artistic. I’m thinking about bringing my sewing machine to school & getting more serious about my DIYing
- Be more mindful of God. It’s the same as being more spiritual. I just need to recognize the higher order and it’s presence in my life more this year.
Message me if you’re down for giving advice. & Tell me your relationship status. It’s nice to know about my followers
What are your resolutions?
"Trying to replan my life. Med school just doesn’t seem attainable."
- I might become the most overqualified nurse ever.
"Leaving for Paris today! & Merry Christmas!"
ANSWER IN MY ASK-
How was your holiday?
Favorite & least favorite: present, visitor, tradition, food?
I must've looked really sad today...
K-: Hi! Yea I haven't seen you in a while. We can hang out, just call me. Wait. Are you okay?
Checker at Trader Joe's: Have good day. Smile!
Paramedic: *Huge smile How are you today?
I don't normally let my emotions betray me. But it's my monthiversary with R- & he had to work on a Spanish project so I couldn't see him like I normally do.
I think it just set off everything else I've been stressing over:
-end of semester cluster f- of assignments
-being fat for the KA date dash (formal date night)
-being fat for Paris
-just got back to school after being home. Which is always rough.
R- is coming over at 3 for a late lunch.
We can talk about a camping trip & date dash which start on Friday. He hasn't told me anything about it yet so I'm kind of stressed.
But I'll see him & finally teach him a card game, Palace.
& we'll have lunch together. It'll be fine.
I'm just going to cry til then & clean up my room because it's a disaster.
Still So in Love.
Boyfran: Good morning sunshine 9:57AM
: Sunshine? 11:26AM
It's sweet that he's this involved when his friends are visiting. I wasn't expecting to hear from him at all. & then I check my phone and find these.
"Gonna go for my 1st run post-marathon. Hopefully my knees won’t get too messed up."
I need to get fit for gameday & Halloween & date party!
Out of My Control.
My relationship is slipping out of my control. It was fine until I did two things that aren’t really like me…
1. Accidentally made sour face at R-’s ex. (To be fair, everyone says she’s a b—-. & not just to humor me) (I think I’m slipping into ‘the best defense is a good offense’ mode. ooops)
2. I miss R-. He had to study during our gap so I had coffee with friends instead. Then he couldn’t see me after his midterm/my class because he was gonna have dinner with his sister & their dad who was in town on business. It’s been 5 hours or so and no word. I shouldn’t miss him as much as I do. (My turn to care more.)